A friend of mine shared a disheartening story with me – a young
boy walked into his small group and asked, “What are we going to do
today?” When his leader told him, he
replied, “That’s boring,” and proceeded to pout and look … well, bored, during the
entire lesson and activity. Not long
ago, a mother told me that her teen child no longer wanted to come to church
because it was not interesting, and he didn’t like it.
Most of us have heard alarming statistics about how our
young people are leaving the church and about how our children feel
entitled. So how do we, as parents, help
our children learn to love the church?
Why are we here?
First of all, we need to decide why WE are going to
church. Do we go to church out of
duty? Do we go to church to keep our
kids out of trouble – to give them something to do – an outlet? Do we hope that good behavior will rub off on
our kids if we go to church? Do we go to
start our week off on a positive note?
Do we go to church to see our friends – or to get adult time away from
the kids? Do we go to church because
that’s just the right thing to do?
Why do we go to church?
I believe we should go to church for two reasons.
1. We go to church to
worship.
What is worship? In
the book, Parenting in the Pew, Robbie Castleman says,
“Worship is the
exercise of our souls in blessing God. In
the Psalms we read or sing, ‘Bless the Lord, O my soul!’ However, our chief concern is usually ‘Bless
my soul, O Lord!’
Encountering the
Lord. Meeting Jesus. Hearing his voice. Knowing God.
These expectations of worship are met in hearts that are intent on his
blessing.”
Simply put, we don’t go to church service for us. It’s not about me. It’s not about you. It’s about God.
However, there’s more to Church than Sunday morning worship
service.
2. We go to church to
participate in the life of THE church.
What is THE church?
According to my resident PhD, Dr. Mullin (a.k.a. my husband,
Miles), “The church has two meanings in the Scripture. The first meaning references a gathered group
of baptized believers covenanted together in order to worship the Lord,
administer the ordinances, disciple its members, and bear testimony to
Christ. This is the predominant meaning
found in the New Testament. The second
meaning refers to the universal Church which is made up of all believers
throughout all ages and all times. The
New Testament depicts membership in the universal church as secured by faith in
Jesus Christ and membership in a local church as normal for all believers”
Part of going to church is BEING THE church – a gathered
group of believers who come together for encouragement, discipleship, and
service. Given that we go to church to
worship and to participate in being the body of believers called the church,
what are some ways to teach our children to love the church?
1. Know why you are
there.
Are you coming for the kids programs, the awesome music, or
the entertaining pastor, or are you coming to worship the Lord? Are you there because you want to make
business connections or so you can grow in your relationship with the God of
the universe? As the parent, you need to
check your own heart and make sure you are in church for the right reasons.
2. Ask the right
questions
A few years ago, I realized that I was asking my kids a
toxic question. When I picked them up
from a church activity, I would ask, “Did you have fun?” THIS is NOT why we go to church. (See
above). Asking such a dumb question was
just reinforcing exactly what I didn’t want them to believe – that church is
about having fun. I realized I needed to
ask the right questions. Here are just some
of the questions that I try to ask now.
What was your Bible study about tonight?
Did you learn anything new this morning?
Were there any visitors in your class?
Did you meet anyone new?
What was your favorite part of worship today?
What was your favorite song?
Did anything about the sermon stand out to you?
Are there any prayer requests we should pray about as a
family?
3. Watch your words
Think about how you talk about your church to others. If you describe your church as being a great
place because they’re so many fun things to do, children will get a wrong idea
about church and its function. If you get
in the car and complain about the pastor going too long or the music being sort
of “blah today” in front of your kids, you will send them a very clear message. Be careful about how you talk about your
church to your family and to your friends.
4. Serve
First of all, set an example by serving and then encourage
your children to serve. All children can
serve in some way. Be on the lookout for
ways your child can serve.
My youngest told me once that he didn’t particularly like a
certain ministry we were doing. So I
said, “Oh dear. I hate for you to not
to LIKE something. Let’s just quit.” “OK, pray and ask God what other ministry you
should be involved in then.”
The Bible says that all believers in a body have a role to
play. I personally believe this also
applies to children who have accepted Jesus as their Savior and Lord. Romans
12:4-6 says “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not
all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and
individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the
grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith.”
Young children can make shoeboxes for Operation Christmas
Child, visit shut-ins, or choose items for a food pantry. Older children can help set up tables and
chairs, clean pews, and participate in outreach ministries. Teenagers can do practically anything an
adult can do – mission trips, music ministry, nursery work, etc.
When my oldest was four years old, we “adopted” a shut-in
named Miss Ruby. Miss Ruby had never
married and was 93 years old. She loved
it when we would visit, and his cute little boy face brightened her day. That is serving.
5. Pray
Pray for your church, your pastor, your outreaches, your
missionaries, and your church family members.
Pray with your children about your church often so they learn by example
that the church is dear to us and should be lifted up to our Father.
There is no guarantee that your children will grow up and “stay
in church,” but we as parents can help our children have a proper view of
church and its function by first understanding it ourselves and then by asking
the right questions, watching what we say about the church, serving in our
church, and praying for our church.
