Child, You've Got Skills!

I’m currently studying the book of Exodus, and I admit, in the past when reading Exodus, there are several chapters that are just so easy to want to gloss over, skim, or skip.  However, this time around, I feel like there are so many solid truths that I am “digging up,” and I just wanted to share.

Exodus 31:1-11 (ESV)

The Lord said to Moses,  “See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah,  and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with ability and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship,  to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze,  in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, to work in every craft.  And behold, I have appointed with him Oholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan. And I have given to all able men ability, that they may make all that I have commanded you:  the tent of meeting, and the ark of the testimony, and the mercy seat that is on it, and all the furnishings of the tent,  the table and its utensils, and the pure lampstand with all its utensils, and the altar of incense,  and the altar of burnt offering with all its utensils, and the basin and its stand,  and the finely worked garments, the holy garments for Aaron the priest and the garments of his sons, for their service as priests,  and the anointing oil and the fragrant incense for the Holy Place. According to all that I have commanded you, they shall do.”

God gives His children skills

The NIV says in Exodus 31:3 “and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills…”  God gives skills, ability, wisdom, and knowledge to His children.  God specially equipped Bezalel and Oholiab with the knowledge and unique skills required in crafting God’s Tabernacle.   

The work is for Him and His glory

God doesn’t equip us with skills so we can make lots of money to buy a Corvette or a big fancy house.  We are to use our gifts to serve one another and to glorify God.

1 Peter 4:10-11 ESV

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

The work He calls us to is personalized.  God equips specific people for specific work. 

God identifies by name the ones He wants to do the work of creating the Tabernacle and all that is in it -- Bezalel and Oholiab.  Likewise, we should NOT try to do someone else’s job.  We should not compare our skill set to those of others and wish we had that person’s abilities or spiritual gifts.   God has equipped each of us for something unique and specific that will bring glory and honor to Him.  If unsure about your abilities, ask other godly people in your church who know you to help you identify your skills that could be used for His kingdom.  

Romans 12:3-8  For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function,  so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.  We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;  if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach;  if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

The work may be for a season.

There was an end to the work that Bezalel and Oholiab were called to do.  At some point, the Tabernacle was completed, and they went back to doing other things or maybe they started doing new things.

Sometimes our calling is just for a season. 

I was involved in music ministry since I was in the 5^th grade.  However, I stepped down from helping to lead worship for about a decade in order to partner with my husband in helping TEACH my children how and why we worship.  At the end of that season, my oldest son began helping to lead in worship and my youngest son joined the drama team at church.  It was then that I felt God had released me into a new season of worship ministry.

He doesn’t call you to do everything.

God only named two people who were to head up the building of the Tabernacle.  They were given a specific job to do.  God did not tell them, however, that they were to do everything.

In my early 20s, every time there was a plea for help, I thought I HAD to do whatever job was needed.  I found myself teaching 3-4 year old Sunday School, being an AWANA leader, singing in 2 ensembles and the choir, and staying in the nursery.   I also had a full-time job and tutored on the side.  All this “work” for the Lord took a huge physical toll on me.  I was mentally and physically exhausted.  I thought I was pleasing the Lord, but God does not want us to do everything.  He has specific jobs for each of us.  Jethro admonished Moses to share the work load with others because “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.”   Exodus 18:17   The Gospels, likewise, give us examples of Jesus taking the time to rest and pray.

Take the time to pray and ask God exactly what He wants you to do.  Learn to say no, if needed.  Chances are, you could be doing a job that God has purposed for someone else.

You are not the only one.

If you left your “job” at the church tomorrow, you would be missed, but God has someone else in mind to fill the spot.  Let’s not feed our egos into thinking we are IT.  The one.  All that.  God’s only solution.   God equips us, and He wants to use us, but He doesn’t need us. 

For seven years, I lead the morning and afternoon worship rally during VBS at our church in Houston.  It was a very upfront role where I used skills such as singing and public speaking.  When we moved to Missouri, our new church already had people to lead their opening and closing during VBS.  Therefore, for two years, I’ve used my skills of bargain shopping, organizing, and hospitality to do the very behind-the-scenes job of running the Encourager Room for the VBS workers, and I love it.  Guess what?   God had people lined up and ready to take over the VBS worship rally in Houston, and they never missed a beat! 

What a joy that God gives us knowledge, ability, and skill in order that we may glorify Him!

As you go through your day, remember, as  Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

Attention Moms and Dads! Your Teens Need You!

This morning, as I was folding laundry, I sat pondering what someone asked me last night.

“So, is your son as quiet at home as he is here?”

My youngest is playing a small role in a play in our community, and he’s been labelled as quiet.  Wait, what?  Quiet?

That boy hasn’t been quiet a day in his life.  He’s funny, hyper, crazy, loud, and talkative.

At play practice, others see him as quiet.  Quiet.

Time turned back, and I thought about my oldest.  At about the same age, he told me once, with real fear in his words, that he had stage-fright.  I remember thinking, “WHAT!?  You’ve never ever one time been afraid in front of a group of people.”  But for a time, he was, but he’s not anymore.  Now he’s a tour guide at a local cave, and he speaks in front of strangers all day, several times a day.  He’s a born leader.  When he was 5 years old, he could have the entire playground filled with children previously unknown to him playing some game he’d made up.  “Do you want to play with us?” he’d ask perfect strangers.  Yet, for a time, he had stage fright.  It came out of nowhere, and one day it slipped away quietly, and I realized it was gone.

Thinking about my oldest, that’s when it hit me.  These are the days in a young person’s life when he suddenly realizes that others see him.  That what he does is right there in front of the world for everyone to see and judge.  Boys and girls alike suddenly become visible, vulnerable, self-conscious, exposed, scared, worried.

What is it about puberty and hormones that does this?

I have no idea, but what I do know is that these are the days when teenagers becoming young men and women push so hard against their parents, but they need us so very much.  They need us to say, “YES!  You ARE who you once were.  You are funny and bright and capable.”  They want to know that they are loved and cherished even when they push.  They crave acceptance and hugs and encouragement.  Not fake praise, but genuine words of affirmation. 

You CAN do it. 

I believe in you. 

I am on your side.

Tell them what they are good at.  Tell them you love them.  Tell them you are proud when they show compassion, kindness, generosity, and self-control.  Set boundaries.  Push gently.  Encourage.  Exhort.  Praise.  Lift them up.

Then, in time,  prayerfully and with God’s grace, your son or daughter will step confidently out into the world and embrace the gifts that God has blessed him or her with and just be… amazing.

They need you mom and dad.  Your teens need you.

Dear Mom, Hang On

Dear Mom of a child struggling with ADHD, inattentive ADD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, autism, sensory integration disorder, OCD, etc.,

When your daughter runs back to the bathroom to wash her hands one more time and her hands are raw and bleeding and cracked from over-washing, and you cannot reason with her and you cannot get her to stop, Mom, hang on.

When he can’t understand the passage he’s reading and he’s so stressed and he’s crying and you’re crying and you want to fix it but you can’t, Mom, hang on.

When they call you to the school and you find out that your son lost his temper … again… and knocked over desks and threw books, and you’re embarrassed and at a loss and you just don’t know how to help him, Mom, hang on.

When your son is crying in bed, regretting, wondering why God made him that way and your heart breaks right in two because he says, “I wish I was never born.  I want to die,” Mom, hang on.

When the noise is so loud somewhere and everyone else is having so much fun and your daughter suddenly melts down crying and screaming because it is just. too. much, Mom, hang on.

When another parent suggests that if you were a better disciplinarian, your child would do better, and you know what they’re thinking, and you know how HARD you’ve tried, Mom, hang on.

When you’ve tried essential oils, parenting techniques, diet changes, therapies out the wazoo, chiropractic care, classes, counseling, even medication, and things are just not getting better, Mom, hang on.

When people stare at you in public because your daughter is melting down ... again, and you’re sick of going out in public, and you’re tired and embarrassed and weary, Mom, hang on.

When you are so sick and tired of being late because your son’s socks “Don’t feel right” and the shoelaces are too tight and then not tight enough and you’ve tied those stupid shoes 5 times, Mom, hang on.

When your daughter’s grades are so bad because she is busy daydreaming about who-knows-what while the teacher is talking and you know how smart she is and you think you’ll scream if you hear a teacher say one more time that she’s not applying herself, Mom, hang on.

When your son has no friends because he has no concept of personal space and talks constantly and does not get social cues, Mom, hang on.

When you have lost your temper ….again… when you promised yourself you wouldn’t and you begged God to help you stay calm, Mom, hang on.

When your parents make comments and you’re smiling on the outside but dying on the inside, Mom, hang on.

When people say that ADHD doesn’t exist and you used to think the same thing but now you know better but you wished to God you didn’t, Mom, hang on.

When you have no one to talk to because no one truly understands because your kid looks normal on the outside, Mom, please hang on.

God can give you rest.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.     Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

God cares.

Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.      1 Peter 5:7 (NKJV)

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you…      Psalm 55:22  (NIV)

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

God will never leave you or your child. 

I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV).

 So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

God hears you.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.     Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

God has a plan.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28 (NIV)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

God gives you hope and peace.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.     Romans 15:13 (NIV)

God strengthens you.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.     Philippians 4:13  (NIV)

You are important.  You are needed.  You are loved.  You matter.  

Her children rise up and call her blessed.     Proverbs 31:28-30 (ESV)

Dear Mom, Hang on.

Demonstrating God's Love: 1 Corinthians 13 -- A Family Activity

We put the verses on the fridge.

     We did something wonderful last week.  We worked hard at catching each other in the act!

     Allow me to explain.  Kyle, our youth pastor, challenged some families with youth to try out the book  Ideas for Parents by Mark Matlock and Christopher Lyon.  After skimming the book, my husband, Miles, chose the activity "Fill the Love Jar."  After reading 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Miles explained that for the next week, we would be watching each other and looking for examples of others in our family demonstrating the principles in these verses.  So, for example, if you see someone being patient, you should take a minute to write it down and put it in the container.  After one week, we would read them all.  

     Miles put The Mullins Demonstrating God's Love (1 Corinthians 13) Jar on the kitchen table along with some index cards and a pen.  He printed the verses out for each of us and put a copy on the fridge.  Then the fun began. 
     
     During the week, each of use wrote down when we saw 1 Corinthians 13 being lived out in someone else. We all did our best to put in at least one card every day. At the end of the week, our container held 39 cards.  After lunch on Sunday, Miles opened the jar and read them all.  

The Mullins Demonstrating God's Love Jar

     It was incredibly affirming.  Here are a few:

*Darius very patiently tried to help Titus pick out clothes today. -- Mommy
*Darius lowered the basketball hoop for Titus even though he preferred to do something else ("does not insist on its own way") -- Daddy
*Titus came out and did basketball with me (even before Daddy went out). -- Darius
*Darius played with me even though he didn't want to. -- Titus
*Miles makes the coffee almost every morning.  How kind!  -- Jenny
*On Monday, Jenny (Mommy) hoped for a good day of school, even though it was Monday.  -- Miles
*Daddy took me for a walk. -- Titus
*Mommy made dinner for us almost every day. -- Darius
*When Titus was doing his math and geography, Darius was very patient about waiting to practice piano. -- Mommy
*Daddy saved a peice of garlick brad for Mommy. -- Titus
*Titus had a great school day today.  He was not rude or irritable!  Yay Titus! -- Mommy
*Darius didn't brag, even though he did a great job on his Spanish Quiz. -- Daddy

     How awesome is that!  We had 39 examples of our family living out 1 Corinthians 13.  We decided we need to do this again -- maybe several times a year!

     With Valentine's Day right around the corner, perhaps you and your family should try it, too!

How Parenting Shapes Us

     

     Not long ago, while in the midst of a parenting "challenge," my husband reminded me that parenting is to shape the child, but, maybe more importantly, parenting shapes us, the parents.  As Christians, God uses parenting to make us different, better, more like Himself.  

     

1.  Parenting Helps Us Develop the Fruit of the Spirit

     I told someone this past Saturday that by the time by youngest is 18 years old, I will be the most patient person on the planet, and I was serious.  I taught high schoolers in the public school system.  I have worked with all ages of kids in Sunday School, VBS, Children's Church, and the nursery.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared me for a 45 minute temper tantrum because I said, "No."  Nothing prepared me for how enraging it can be for a two-year-old to look you in the face and defy you when you are in a hurry to get somewhere.  Nothing prepared me for the looks you get carrying a screaming three-year-old out of ToysRUs.  Nothing prepared me for cleaning up throw-up on two hours of sleep for the 15th time.  Nothing prepared me for the unconditional love that I would have for my boys, and the joy I would have at their successes.  Patience, gentleness, self-control -- the Holy Spirit uses parenting to develop this fruit in us.   But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galations 5:22-23  (ESV)

  

2.  Parenting Shows Us Our Weaknesses

     Parenting shows us where we need the Lord to refine us.  Do we have anger issues?  Worry issues?  Control issues? Do we use bad language?  When our children start yelling at other drivers, "Hey, jerk!", then we realize we need to watch our mouths.  Often, our children mirror us, and we don't like what we see.  When we see it, we can take it to the Lord and ask Him to help us, so we can be different and so we don't pass down baggage to our children.

3.  Parenting Teaches Us We Are Not in Control

     In our brains, we know God is in control, right?  Parenting confirms this down to the insides of our bones.  Despite parenting books that teach us that we can control our child's behavior if we use their "correct" methodology, parenting makes us realize that we cannot control those little hellions children.  Even harder, we cannot control the child who is bullying our child.  We can't heal our child of an illness.  We can't make a learning disability go away.  We just can't fix everything.  Ultimately, God is in control -- of the universe and of our children.  Parenting can and should help us rely on God to help us, give us strength, give us wisdom, and give us endurance.

     Often, we focus so much on turning out perfect children that we fail to see how God is using parenting to turn us into children who are more like our Father.  So, the next time your son talks back or your daughter refuses to eat her dinner or your son whacks you in the face with a pillow when you're not looking, take a deep breath, pray, and ask your Father to give you what you need to be a godly parent, a godly person, a reflection of Him, and, I believe, He will answer.

God Only Gives Us What We Can Handle... Where's That in the Bible?

     I read Dr. James' Dobson's The New Strong-Willed Child years ago because, well, I needed to!  I remember coming away from the book with the quote, "God gave you this child because He knows you can handle it" as my new mantra.  When parenting got tough, I would recite this phrase in my head.  Admittedly, there were many days when I thought God had messed up because I just could not handle it.
     Not too long ago, while running that quote through my head, again, trying to cling to it like I had for many years, I felt God speak to me, quietly:  "Stop clinging to that.  It's not true.  You can only do it through Me."  Sucking in air at the realization, I started turning this over in my mind.  God does NOT give us what we can handle.  We can only handle trials, tribulations, and all that crazy, tough stuff through His power and His strength.
     Feeling mad and frustrated at Dr. Dobson for "hindering" me, I looked up the "quote" in his book.  This is what I found, underlined in the book, by ME, years ago: 

     "When parents bring one of these tough youngsters into the world, they need to recognize that while raising that child may be difficult for a time, it is worth their effort to do the job right.  Their attitude should be, 'The Lord gave me this challenging child for a purpose.  He wants me to mold and shape this youngster and prepare him or her for a life of service to Him.  And I'm up to the task.  I'm going to make it with the Lord's help'...if they can perceive their task as a God-given assignment and believe that He's going to help them to fulfill it, then the frustrations become more manageable."  (p. 31, underlining mine)

     Sorry, Dr. Dobson, I've been misquoting you in my head for years.  "I'm up to the task.  I'm going to make it with the Lord's help" is quite different from "God gave you this child because He knows you can handle it."   
     Now, the question comes, why, for years and years, did I misquote that book?
     It is simply so easy for me, maybe for you, too, to try to do things in my own strength -- a job, child-rearing, parenting, illness, marriage, church service, etc.  Isn't it the American Way to pull ourselves up by our boot-straps, get to work, and get it done?  If we work hard enough in school, we can get out of our poor neighborhoods.  If we do our best in sports, maybe we'll get a contract.  If we get into a good college, we can get a good job.  If we work our tails off in a business, we can be rich.  If we would just try harder, we wouldn't be in this mess.  If we read enough parenting books, try enough strategies, pray hard enough, find the right system, our kids will turn out... perfect.
     Don't you think our Enemy looks on, nodding his approval, knowing we will fail, happy to see us striving in our own power?  

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13 NKJV

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.   

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:29-31 NIV

     Thanks Lord for the reminder.  In all I do, in all that You have set before me, help me to focus on YOU as the source of my strength and power.  Help me when I've had all I can take.  Lift me up.  Renew my strength.  Help me stay the course.  Give me patience, perseverance, endurance to run this race.  For when I am weak, yet trusting in You and Your power, then I am strong.

What Is Man that You Are Mindful of Him? Astronomy Lessons

     This semester I have the privilege of teaching astronomy to 27 third through fifth graders.  The last time I taught astronomy was about 5 years ago to my oldest son.  Coming back to the subject so many years later does not dull the awe that I feel every time I study the heavens.

Psalm 8
O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens.  From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.  When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,  what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?  You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.  You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet:  all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field,  the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.  O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!    

"Swirls of gas and dust reside in this ethereal-looking region of star formation seen by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope. This majestic view, located in the Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC), reveals a region where low-mass, infant stars and their much more massive stellar neighbors reside. A shroud of blue haze gently lingers amid the stars."  NASA.gov

Our galaxy, the Milky Way, is just one of an infinite number of galaxies in the universe.

The Milky Way contains 200 - 400 billion stars.  

Our Sun is just one of those stars.

Our Sun is a medium-sized star.

One million of our Earth's would fit inside 

our medium-star-sized Sun.

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, 

the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,  

what is man that you are mindful of him, 

the son of man that you care for him? 

Psalm 8:3-4

Yes, what is man that You are mindful of him?  
We are but tiny specks in the vast universe 
and yet God knows us, loves us, and sent His Son to die for us.  
Your name, O LORD, is truly majestic!

All photos from www.nasa.gov
Credit: NASA, ESA, and the Hubble Heritage Team (STScI/AURA)-ESA/Hubble Collaboration

Mommy Diary -- Who Am I?

     I came across this journal entry a few weeks ago written when my boys were almost 4 and 21 months (they are 13 and 10 now).  After working as a high school English teacher and the office manager of a hotel management company, staying home with whiny kids and little adult interaction was, well, hard.  I've pondered this journal entry, read over it a few more times, and thought, maybe, just maybe it might help a mom who is struggling like I was.  2 Cor. 1:3-4  says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." May you be comforted.

April 8, 2003
     Yesterday was such a bad day.  My kids whined all day.  I kept losing my patience.  I didn't get anything accomplished.  I went to bed feeling defeated -- a failure as a mother. 
     Depressed!  My husband constantly reminds me that 1st and foremost, I'm staying home for my children -- not a clean house.
     Why can't I get that through my head?  I constantly evaluate my days -- my worth and value-- by the fruits of my labor.  What I can see that I got done -- but when I die, I want to say that my children know the Lord -- that we did our best to teach them about Jesus and His word -- that we tried to teach them honesty, character, integrity, determination, responsibility.
     Lord, help me to see it -- to remember it -- to believe it.  Help me to forget about clean toilets (well, not forever) and get it down to my bones that I am here for my children -- I am home for them!  Then Lord, if you want to teach me how to keep a spotless house, so be it.  If I never learn, give me a peace about it.
     I mean, I want a house that is clean, comfortable.  I don't want to be embarrassed every time someone stops by -- but I need balance -- and I need to go to bed after a day when nothing got accomplished with peace because I took good care of my children.
     Lord, help me to be patient.  Especially with my oldest son with all his energy and three-year-old inquisitiveness.  

I am...
*John 1:12-13 -- a child of God
*John 3:18 -- not condemned
*Ps. 139:13 -- created by God
*Ps. 139:14 -- fearfully and wonderfully made
*Ps. 139:16 -- seen by God before I existed -- all my days are ordained by God
*Romans 8:16-17 -- God's child, heir of God, co-heirs with Christ
*Col. 1:13 -- rescued by God from the dominion of darkness
*Eph. 2:8-10 -- saved by faith -- not by works -- created to do good works
*2. Cor. 5:17 -- a new creation
*Rom. 12:1  -- a living sacrifice
*2 Cor. 5:21 -- the righteousness of God

Stop looking to the world for affirmation.  If I really believed these Scriptures....I would stop feeling so incompetent -- so ugly -- so guilty all the time.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am not condemned.





Note:  My only edits are in italics -- I removed names.